Tuesday, December 31, 2013
The White Elephant Dbl-Sided Dildo, The Saga Continues...
So, she broke it in half, at the balls. This is what playing with it looks like now - I am feeling kind of like a bad owner, but come on. COME ON. This is fucking HILARIOUS.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Shocking new idea - Be whoever you are and do whatever you want, no matter your age. LIVE.
In response to this blog right here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/7-things-you-totes-need-to-stop-saying-if-youre-over-30_b_4375298.html
Sure, some of these are pretty annoying. I particularly don't like "totes" - never have, feels very awkward to work into conversation. And I've never even used "feels" - and I doubt I will. I also don't like when people use the word "utilize" instead of "use" just to try and sound more intelligent - just personal preferences here people. That aside, the first thing I think when I see these type of articles (there are so many circulating out there) is to say "stop telling me what to do or say, or how to act, because I've reached a certain age." We're all individuals, right? There's a lot of "age-appropriate" stuff out there that I see that makes me feel sad, like everyone is conforming or giving up, but then I think, that seems to make those people happy, that's what they want. Leave them alone.
I don't much subscribe to the idea of following age-based accepted norms. I find it very limiting and I see a lot of people stopping themselves from doing things they'd like to because of those norms. You need to be this way, or that way, because you're over 30 - says who? Stop telling me what to do - how about we all learn to mind our own business and accept differences in others by the time we reach our 30s? How 'bout that? There are many good ways to live a life.
Side note:
Like it or not, language changes. I agree that it's kind of scary where language may be headed, but generally, much of what begins as slang ends up being part of the accepted vernacular (see "ain't" in the dictionary). Been that way for hundreds of years.
p.s. How does homegirl know I WON'T cut a bitch? Shoooooooot - I'm CRAY. ;)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-ball/7-things-you-totes-need-to-stop-saying-if-youre-over-30_b_4375298.html
Sure, some of these are pretty annoying. I particularly don't like "totes" - never have, feels very awkward to work into conversation. And I've never even used "feels" - and I doubt I will. I also don't like when people use the word "utilize" instead of "use" just to try and sound more intelligent - just personal preferences here people. That aside, the first thing I think when I see these type of articles (there are so many circulating out there) is to say "stop telling me what to do or say, or how to act, because I've reached a certain age." We're all individuals, right? There's a lot of "age-appropriate" stuff out there that I see that makes me feel sad, like everyone is conforming or giving up, but then I think, that seems to make those people happy, that's what they want. Leave them alone.
I don't much subscribe to the idea of following age-based accepted norms. I find it very limiting and I see a lot of people stopping themselves from doing things they'd like to because of those norms. You need to be this way, or that way, because you're over 30 - says who? Stop telling me what to do - how about we all learn to mind our own business and accept differences in others by the time we reach our 30s? How 'bout that? There are many good ways to live a life.
Side note:
Like it or not, language changes. I agree that it's kind of scary where language may be headed, but generally, much of what begins as slang ends up being part of the accepted vernacular (see "ain't" in the dictionary). Been that way for hundreds of years.
p.s. How does homegirl know I WON'T cut a bitch? Shoooooooot - I'm CRAY. ;)
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Nothing to Everything
I know nothing about nothing and anything and I am going to make everything out of that, starting now. EVERYTHIN. I’m not the first, I won’t be the last.
They like to tell you that you have to be taught how to do things, that there is one way, one very particular way, or sets of particular ways, and if you do not learn the way before you start you will be lost. That is wrong. I know enough to start, I am a quick learn and I will learn as I go.
I have no time for your parameters sunshine.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
The Fighting Octopi and Sarah's Takeover
Have you ever watched a nature show in which they are showing an octopus defend itself? Holy fucking shit you guys - it is one of the funniest goddamned things I have ever seen. YouTube that shit if you can, I promise you won't be disappointed.
So I finished my last final of my Bachelors degree today, finally. Perhaps you could not tell this by the above comment about octopi, but you know what? Screw you. Who are you to judge me? And secondly, that shit's for real. So. Funny.
Hi, my name is Sarah, I'm 31 (but look 24, so let's just go with that), and I now have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theatre Arts, Dance Option.
Get ready. ;)
So I finished my last final of my Bachelors degree today, finally. Perhaps you could not tell this by the above comment about octopi, but you know what? Screw you. Who are you to judge me? And secondly, that shit's for real. So. Funny.
Hi, my name is Sarah, I'm 31 (but look 24, so let's just go with that), and I now have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theatre Arts, Dance Option.
Get ready. ;)
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Why not believe in me?
And by me, I mean you. I mean, believe in me too if you want, that's fine, but I'm going to be believing in me, so if you're busy, don't worry about it.
What the hell are you talking about Sarah?
Right.
Here's the deal. I've been introduced to some ideas as of late, and have adjusted them to me, and me to them and here's what I have to share after a lot of thought on these ideas. In no particular order:
Idea 1 - Follow your bliss:
It was pointed out to me that this sounds like "tea bag advice" (actually that was written with a hash tag, but I'll spare you). This may be true, but guess what? I fucking love advice from tea bags! Perfect, so here's the thing with this - to follow your bliss you have to find it. Holy shit that's important. It took me so long to find mine - well, more accurately, it took me so long to admit to myself what my bliss was, and then to tell myself - stop being such a pussy and follow that shit!
Also - don't just follow. Chase it down like the hounds of hell are on your ass and take it. TAKE that bliss. And stop doubting yourself. For ANY reason. My favorites - I'm too old (even when I was really young!). I'm not naturally talented enough (as a ________ - everything?). That doesn't work out for people like me. I need to stay grounded.
GO AFTER THE THINGS YOU WANT PEOPLE. YOU CAN DO IT, JUST DO IT.
Idea 2 - You don't know what you don't know:
So stop being such an annoying little know it all with yourself (see my doubts listed above). The universe works in mysterious ways, and so much is going on at any given time. There is so much happening OFF your radar. So stay present, do what you love and want to do, work hard at it, enjoy it, and keep your eyes and ears open. Stop spending all your time trying to make shit happen, or plan your next move. Just do the damn thing and forward motion will happen organically. You can't control everything, you aren't that good!
And now that pressure is off, yay.
Idea 3 - Bad things happen no matter what:
Yes. And they suck. Some more than suck. But bad things almost always lead to new things - new friends, locations, jobs, ideas, opportunities - and this is good. So take a deep breath, suffer a little less every moment, and keep an eye out for the next good thing.
Idea 4 - If you have the right attitude, facts don't matter:
This one is out there, but basically - Good out (from you) Good in (from the world, the universe). Be happy. Be grateful. Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel both happy and grateful. Work on things, and act in a way that makes you feel good, proud. And keep your eye on the prize. If you keep your goal in mind and keep a good attitude, you'd be surprised at the results.
Idea 5 - Believe:
I truly think what separates the amazing people in this world (which come in many incarnations) from the meh people is the amount of TRUE belief they have that they will accomplish their goals. Whether that's just to be a librarian with a cool bike, or to be a successful, famous actress and comedy writer (who's dream is that, I wonder?) - or anything inbetween, above or beyond. You have to figure out what you want, go after it, be happy, and believe with everything you are that you will get it. Believe it like it's already happening. Believe Believe Believe.
BELIEVE.
Why the fuck not? What the hell else do you have to do, play Candy Crush?
What the hell are you talking about Sarah?
Right.
Here's the deal. I've been introduced to some ideas as of late, and have adjusted them to me, and me to them and here's what I have to share after a lot of thought on these ideas. In no particular order:
Idea 1 - Follow your bliss:
It was pointed out to me that this sounds like "tea bag advice" (actually that was written with a hash tag, but I'll spare you). This may be true, but guess what? I fucking love advice from tea bags! Perfect, so here's the thing with this - to follow your bliss you have to find it. Holy shit that's important. It took me so long to find mine - well, more accurately, it took me so long to admit to myself what my bliss was, and then to tell myself - stop being such a pussy and follow that shit!
Also - don't just follow. Chase it down like the hounds of hell are on your ass and take it. TAKE that bliss. And stop doubting yourself. For ANY reason. My favorites - I'm too old (even when I was really young!). I'm not naturally talented enough (as a ________ - everything?). That doesn't work out for people like me. I need to stay grounded.
GO AFTER THE THINGS YOU WANT PEOPLE. YOU CAN DO IT, JUST DO IT.
Idea 2 - You don't know what you don't know:
So stop being such an annoying little know it all with yourself (see my doubts listed above). The universe works in mysterious ways, and so much is going on at any given time. There is so much happening OFF your radar. So stay present, do what you love and want to do, work hard at it, enjoy it, and keep your eyes and ears open. Stop spending all your time trying to make shit happen, or plan your next move. Just do the damn thing and forward motion will happen organically. You can't control everything, you aren't that good!
And now that pressure is off, yay.
Idea 3 - Bad things happen no matter what:
Yes. And they suck. Some more than suck. But bad things almost always lead to new things - new friends, locations, jobs, ideas, opportunities - and this is good. So take a deep breath, suffer a little less every moment, and keep an eye out for the next good thing.
Idea 4 - If you have the right attitude, facts don't matter:
This one is out there, but basically - Good out (from you) Good in (from the world, the universe). Be happy. Be grateful. Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel both happy and grateful. Work on things, and act in a way that makes you feel good, proud. And keep your eye on the prize. If you keep your goal in mind and keep a good attitude, you'd be surprised at the results.
Idea 5 - Believe:
I truly think what separates the amazing people in this world (which come in many incarnations) from the meh people is the amount of TRUE belief they have that they will accomplish their goals. Whether that's just to be a librarian with a cool bike, or to be a successful, famous actress and comedy writer (who's dream is that, I wonder?) - or anything inbetween, above or beyond. You have to figure out what you want, go after it, be happy, and believe with everything you are that you will get it. Believe it like it's already happening. Believe Believe Believe.
BELIEVE.
Why the fuck not? What the hell else do you have to do, play Candy Crush?
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Jesus you people are hard to please - also - the VMAs. Really?
Hey. Hey Guys. Well, I haven't posted for awhile - I mean, here I was, working hard, writing little entertaining blurbs, posting pictures, trying to keep people interested... and what do I get? Fewer views. What's a girl to do?
Back to her roots, I say.
So, a rant for the masses. What about? The VMAs.
Cause what in the fuck is the point of a Video Music Award in a world where people don't - and basically can't - watch music videos?!? Someone explain this shit to me.
See, back in my day (yes, the back in my day speech) - we LIVED and BREATHED music videos. I spent entire summer vacations literally flipping back and forth between MTV and VH1, just depending on who was playing the best video at that moment. Yeah, we went to the pool, the amusement park, the mall (I was a certifiable mall rat for awhile there in '94 or so) whatever - and when songs were playing at those places, guess what we talked about? The god-damned music video for that song!
Now you turn on those channels and what do you get - a whole bunch of bullshit reality shows, talk shows (I guess), competition shows, on and on. Nothing interesting, nothing that isn't spoon fed to you and easily digestible. Nothing your sweet little brain needs to process, interpret, guess at understanding.
I feel so sad, and so sorry for today's youth.
Remember Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden? Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana?
VOGUE BY MADONNA?? THRILLER BY MICHAEL JACKSON????
Shit, even I'll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy (he was Puff Daddy then friends). Yeah, kind of a crap song and a rip-off of The Police, but hey, it was memorializing Biggie, and I still watched it probably 800 times the summer of '97 - I was (just) 15, couldn't drive, and that's what I did. Went to the pool, watched music videos, ate, called the occasional boy. Ah, summer. Ah, the good old days.
So, again, I ask you - Wht is the fucking point of the VMA's anymore? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Back to her roots, I say.
So, a rant for the masses. What about? The VMAs.
Cause what in the fuck is the point of a Video Music Award in a world where people don't - and basically can't - watch music videos?!? Someone explain this shit to me.
See, back in my day (yes, the back in my day speech) - we LIVED and BREATHED music videos. I spent entire summer vacations literally flipping back and forth between MTV and VH1, just depending on who was playing the best video at that moment. Yeah, we went to the pool, the amusement park, the mall (I was a certifiable mall rat for awhile there in '94 or so) whatever - and when songs were playing at those places, guess what we talked about? The god-damned music video for that song!
Now you turn on those channels and what do you get - a whole bunch of bullshit reality shows, talk shows (I guess), competition shows, on and on. Nothing interesting, nothing that isn't spoon fed to you and easily digestible. Nothing your sweet little brain needs to process, interpret, guess at understanding.
I feel so sad, and so sorry for today's youth.
Remember Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden? Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana?
VOGUE BY MADONNA?? THRILLER BY MICHAEL JACKSON????
Shit, even I'll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy (he was Puff Daddy then friends). Yeah, kind of a crap song and a rip-off of The Police, but hey, it was memorializing Biggie, and I still watched it probably 800 times the summer of '97 - I was (just) 15, couldn't drive, and that's what I did. Went to the pool, watched music videos, ate, called the occasional boy. Ah, summer. Ah, the good old days.
So, again, I ask you - Wht is the fucking point of the VMA's anymore? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
 |
| The Queen - Madonna, VMAs 1990 |
 |
| Michael Jackson and Slash, VMAs 1995 |
 |
| Nirvana (Bass n the Face), VMAs 1992 |
Friday, August 9, 2013
What's going on?!? but really though (Warning: Graphic Image)
I am just in a state of total WTF right now. Maybe it was all the Panic911 and The First 48 I watched last night. More likely it was the news that a man killed his wife, took a picture of it and posted that shit on Facebook. I don't know, and I don't understand. Has it always been like this? Are we just more aware of it because information is so available via social media, the internet, TV? Or is this world changing as a result of those things, or over-population, or ?????
I have been in some bad situations in my time, I have been lied to, cheated, threatened and made to feel like nothing by people (men, primarily) I truly loved... but never once did I think, well, I guess the solution to this is to murder the bastard. And I mean, I am one crazy broad. I just - I can't fathom it, and it is so so scary.
This is the picture and post from Derek Medina - the wife killer (excuse the screenshot from my phone). It took Facebook something like 3 hours to get picture down, so the picture was easy enough for people to get. It just takes this first post for more psychotic freaks to decide to post pictures of their murder victims online. I, for one, can't handle it. It's one of those moments where you just think, man, I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
I have been in some bad situations in my time, I have been lied to, cheated, threatened and made to feel like nothing by people (men, primarily) I truly loved... but never once did I think, well, I guess the solution to this is to murder the bastard. And I mean, I am one crazy broad. I just - I can't fathom it, and it is so so scary.
This is the picture and post from Derek Medina - the wife killer (excuse the screenshot from my phone). It took Facebook something like 3 hours to get picture down, so the picture was easy enough for people to get. It just takes this first post for more psychotic freaks to decide to post pictures of their murder victims online. I, for one, can't handle it. It's one of those moments where you just think, man, I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Don't touch that dial...
So Home Shopping Network has now created something called the HSN remote, so all you have to do is click a button to buy shit. This, of course, is a genius money making move for them.
It's also about to be a disaster for all the shopping addicts and hoarders out there. Lots of pain, heartbreak and embarrassment coming their way.
Silver lining - rehab facilities, as well as the shows Intervention and Hoarders, are about to see an increase in business/subject matter.
Good luck to all, let the games begin!
It's also about to be a disaster for all the shopping addicts and hoarders out there. Lots of pain, heartbreak and embarrassment coming their way.
Silver lining - rehab facilities, as well as the shows Intervention and Hoarders, are about to see an increase in business/subject matter.
Good luck to all, let the games begin!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Ain't Nothin' but a Postal Party
I don't know, but it definitely made me a little nervous that maybe MULTIPLE workers were about to go postal in the same place at the same time. Seems to me weirder shit has been happening lately...
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